Parent Willing To Up Teacher’s Xmas Present To 1.5 Candles If She Doesn’t Push For Early School Closure


AS MORE reports come in of parents taking preemptive action by keeping their children at home ahead of Christmas, one Waterford parent is doing everything she can to prevent schools closing early.

“You can’t do this to me, they’ll have my head more wrecked than a pile up on the M50,” pleaded mother-of-three Michelle Hanley, responding to calls from health experts and goodie two shoes parents for the Department of Education to shut schools early to fend off more Covid spread.

Aware of the domino effect pressure from teachers and their unions to close early citing nonsense like ‘safety’ can cause, Hanley has taken the drastic action to bribe her kids’ teachers with the one thing they crave more than their annual 9 month holidays; Yankee Candles.

“Look it, best I can do is one ‘Christmas Morning’ smelling candle and then half a ‘Snowflake Cookie’,” Hanley offered teacher Mrs Martin, in exchange for the teacher screaming blue murder if there’s talk among staff of pressuring to close.

Teachers in receipt of an overly generous 1.5 candles Hanley will have effectively signed a binding contract to go on Joe Duffy and rubbish calls for early closures as ‘panic’ and ‘scaremongering’.

“And honestly, you’d want to hear the way some of the parents at the gates go on ‘oh I want my little Aubrey home now so she doesn’t get it’. Bollocks! I’m not being made look after those irritating little shits I call ‘my world’ a second longer than I have to,” continued Hanley.

“And c’mon, at the end of the day we parents have to be humble and go with the science, which I always backed and I’m not just saying this now but as NPHET and Norma have said, it’s basically impossible for Covid to get into schools,” Hanley concluded, getting PTSD flashbacks to doing a work presentation on Zoom as her kids climbed all over her.