DIY Work At A Standstill As Woodie’s Suffer Shortage Of Whatchyamacallits


THERE IS chaos being caused in the home improvement DIY industry after popular DIY chain Woodies suffers from a continued shortage of whatchyamacallits.

“A delivery we were expecting didn’t arrive, and then we learned there’s a worldwide shortage and it’s not just affecting whatchyamacallits, it’s thatyokeovertheres too,” explained one Woodies manager, unable to fulfill customer’s vague requests and descriptions of items.

Pictures remain unhung, old toilet seats in need of replacing, and shelves not affixed to walls as the public can’t get their hands on vitals tools.

“I came in looking for a thingymajig, but now they’re telling me they’ve no idea when they’ll have them in stock. I’ve a wife who wants a load of hanging baskets put up, what am I going to do?” queried one frustrated customer.

“I don’t care about whatchyamacallits, I was just in B&Q looking for a yokeymabob, and they don’t have that either,” offered another customer.

“I’ll be honest even after they get in a fresh order of them, I’m going to keep pretending they’re out of them, anything to stop himself from trying to turn the spare room into a man cave,” added one customer who was able to pick up a thatfuckingonetherewiththehandle.

One unforeseen upside to the product shortage has been the 7000% drop in DIY-related cursing and a reduction in the number of men insisting to DIY shop staff that they don’t need help only to return with their tail between their legs after buying the wrong item.