Isn’t It Time We Had A ‘Nollaig Na Fir’?


LOCAL MAN Richard Browne has marked this year’s Nollaig na mBan celebrations by asking if it’s not a little bit sexist for Irish women to have a day to themselves.

“I thought it was sexist to single out a particular gender for special treatment, huh? Yeah, got ya! You didn’t think about that, did ya?,” Browne said to the usual silence.

“I’m joking obviously, only a little bit, it’s not like this has me really irritated but anytime I announce I’m going to do fuck all for the day, there’s no red carpet rolled out, no ticker tape parade.”

“The wife Lisa didn’t laugh at that one either when I told her over Zoom from her sister’s place where she’s been staying for awhile now.”

“Ah no, fair play I suppose, she can have her day. Although, I’m a damn sight more gracious about her ‘having a day’ than she was about me doing the few days in the Shebeen down the road. But sure if I was there because of ‘Nollaig na Fir’ you wouldn’t be allowed saying anything, it’d be sexist after all”.

“But when we stage NnF next year I won’t be calling it Little Men’s Christmas, not a chance, it’s not an insecurity thing, nothing little about me so don’t even go there and try slagging me.”

“Taking a whole day and celebrating and highlighting women is actually about the most sexist thing you can think of doing if you think about it, this day should be split into 365 segments and spread across the year or else what is Nollaig na mBan only Feminist Supremacy”.

“Lisa love, if you’re reading this, I can’t change but would you come home anyway?”