Nation Now Completely Aware Of Mental Health, Thanks


A SPOKESPERSON representing the nation of Ireland has today announced that the country is now completely aware of the mental health problems affecting thousands of its citizens, and if the government could actually do something about that fact it would be great, thanks, WWN can confirm.

The statement issued at 3pm today advised Taoiseach Leo Varadkar’s government that every man, woman and child on the island has “got it”, with less talk and more action being the preferred course of action going forward.

“Mentioning the fact that Ireland has the highest rate of mental health issues in Europe doesn’t seem to be doing anything to fix the problem,” the statement read, “instead, actual physical action in the form of funding and a proper psychiatric health care system was needed, as opposed to a load of words and political jargon laden phrases designed to deflect from the main issue at hand”.

Responding to the proposal to actually do something about it, Minister For Health Simon Harris has insisted that not everybody may be aware of the epidemic yet.

“Our hands are tied because we can’t just proceed with extra funding into mental health without everyone being aware of it first,” he said. “There are babies being born right now that have no idea about mental health and it would be wrong to just spend the taxpayers money on new services without their approval first – we’ve got to think of the children”.

Ireland has one of the highest rates of mental health illness in Europe, ranking joint third out of the 36 countries surveyed in the annual Health at a Glance report.