Majority Of EU Not Sure What To Make Of Luxembourg, Finds Report


A NEW report into the lesser known country of Luxembourg has found that the majority of other EU nations don’t know what to make of the nation at all, despite it being one of the first countries to participate in the formation of the European Union.

“It’s just kind of sitting there,” several EU nations agreed in the report, “like, what does Luxembourg even do? Has anyone actually met anyone from Luxembourg? What are those people even called, Luxembourgers?”

The landlocked country surrounded by Belgium, France and Germany, was not available for comment about the report’s findings, sparking even more fears among its neighbours.

“They’re up to something,” Finland remarked. “Maybe we can ask them if we can have a little look around the place, you know, just to check it out. If they have nothing to hide, then good, but if they refuse, we should probably think about military action or something?”

With an area of just 2,586 square kilometres, experts believe potential threats to the world could be hidden in Luxembourg under its vast network of forests.

“They could be building a death star or anything under all that foliage,” one expert pointed out. “It’s the second richest nation in the world, so there’s that to take in too. Where are they getting all their money? Something dodgy going on.

“Best keep our eyes on them,” he concluded.