Varadkar Scribbles “Tackle Homelessness Thing” Onto Manifesto In Pencil


FINE Gael leadership frontrunner Leo Varadkar has boldly stated that tackling the country’s homeless crisis is his number one priority, holding up his manifesto to show that ‘tackle homeless thing’ was clearly etched in pencil at the top of the list.

The statement comes after new homelessness figures released today show that a record 7,600 people in Ireland are in need of housing, with 2,700 of those people being children.

The statistics spun the spotlight round to the homelessness crisis once again, after several weeks of nobody mentioning it, forcing Varadkar to quickly come up with an answer as to what he will do to tackle our nation’s biggest scandal if he gains control of Fine Gael in his upcoming leadership battle with Simon Coveney.

“As you can see, homelessness is my number one thing to do, it’s written right there” stated Varadkar, who five minutes earlier had asked someone if they had the loan of a pencil.

“Just, just really get stuck in there, you know, get them homeless people a home, get those numbers down. I’m, like, I’m all over it, so I am. That’s what makes me the best choice for leader of Fine Gael. I promise, I won’t just get the post and forget all about the housing thingy”.

UPDATE: Varadkar has forgotten all about the housing thingy.