Government To Get The Homeless An Empty Promise For Christmas
IGNORING the usual Christmas present etiquette which dictates that you should never buy the same present twice for someone, the government has confirmed the Nation’s homeless could be in line to receive yet another empty promise this year.
“Last year we said we’d ‘solve’ the crisis by next Christmas, and it turns out we just gave the gift of false hope,” explained one government insider, who had taken to wearing horse blinkers when walking around Dublin city in order to ignore the problem.
Homeless people have confessed to knowing well in advance of Christmas that they suspected their gift would be a repeat of last year, stating that it was ‘the lack of thought that counted’.
“I’m sure the last thing they’d want is a big surprise like a significant change to our policy, a more progressive attitude so we’ll just stick to what we know; empty promises,” the government spokesperson added.
“It won’t keep them warm, clothed or fed but it might keep them off our backs for a few weeks anyway”.
The government’s gift to the homeless differs massively from the gifts opposition parties have claimed they will bestow upon those without a roof over their heads. Fianna Fáil, Sinn Féin, Labour and various independent TDs have confirmed that they can give the gift of ‘solving every problem in Ireland’ but would first secure pledges for votes in exchange for handing over their gift.