Obama Begs For One Last Bombing Campaign Before Leaving Office


DURING poignant scenes as he cleared out his desk in the Oval Office ahead of the upcoming US elections in November, outgoing president Barack Obama has called for an assembly of military advisors to see if he can launch one more bombing campaign on a foreign nation ‘for old times sake’.

Obama made the plea after turning up his Nobel Peace Prize in a desk full of old phone chargers and Chinese take-away menus, prompting him to fondly reminisce about all the countries that he brought peace to by implementing drone strikes from half the globe away.

The assembled military think-tank was ordered to ‘go off and find somewhere to bomb’ between now and the swearing in of the next president in January 2017, with specific instructions to make sure it was a country that ‘nobody really gave a shit about’.

“Honestly, I think we’ve hit them all at this stage,” said one US General, looking on Google Earth.

“Hit it… hit it… can’t hit it because we’re pally with them… can’t hit it because the Russians are hitting it… can’t hit it cos they ,em>are Russians… I dunno Barack, you haven’t really left us with much to bomb. Maybe if you’d paced yourself over the last eight years, we could have somewhere left to obliterate”.

Adding insult to injury, the US military unveiled some really super new bombs that they’ll be using from now on, prompting Obama to moan that he ‘never got a chance’ to see what these ones would do to hospital in the Middle East.