Dinosaurs One Of God’s Biggest Mistakes, Admits Vatican Spokesman
FOLLOWING years of avoiding the subject as best they could, the Vatican finally made a statement today claiming that Dinosaurs are one of God’s biggest mistakes, and that he was probably very young at the time when creating them some 250 million years ago.
Speaking from his offices in the Vatican City, spokesman Fr. Federico Lombardi defended the reluctance of the Catholic faith’s senior figures to speak about the reptiles, stating they have been an embarrassment to the religion since its founding.
“I don’t think there is anyone in the world that hasn’t made a few mistakes when they were young,” the Italian Catholic priest pointed out. “At the time, God would have only been a few hundred million years old, and was just experimenting with creatures at the time – cutting his teeth on the newly formed earth.
“Every artist needed to doodle first before he starts to paint, so why should the great God Almighty be any different?”
Apologising for God on his behalf, Fr. Lombardi speculated that the creator of the entire universe likely realised how ridiculous looking dinosaurs were shortly after creating them, and decided to just ‘undo’ everything by sending a giant meteorite their way.
“What young person doesn’t like dinosaurs? They’re amazing creatures, but just not great to have around when you want to create a race of humans,” added the former director of the Holy See Press Office, “I’m sure that’s exactly what happened all those millions of years ago. Don’t judge God. Just thank your blessings he killed them off before creating us”.
Today’s dinosaur statement is the first time the Vatican has acknowledged their existence, despite millions of fossils being found over the centuries.