“I Even Checked Down The Number 10 Couch” Outrage As Theresa May Misplaces Article 50


NEWLY appointed British prime minister Theresa May has come under fire today after publicly admitting to losing Britain’s Article 50, somewhere in Number 10 Downing Street.

Ms May, who began looking for the article last week, said she has searched absolutely everywhere for the political process, which details the official method by which Britain and any other member state can start the process of leaving the EU.

“I’ve even checked down the sides of the Number 10 couches,” a flustered looking May said as she appeared at a press conference outside the leader’s residence, “the blasted thing is nowhere to be found.

“Christ, I hope that stupid cat didn’t get its paws on it. Hopefully it will turn up at some stage, otherwise we’ll just have to stay put”.

Over 6 weeks ago, Britain voted to leave the European Union after a controversial referendum decision which divided the nation and forced several high profile politicians to resign from office, including former prime minster David Cameron, who insists left Article 50 on top of the microwave at at No.10.

“It’s either there or on top of the mantelpiece, along with all the other shite. It should be under the report Tony Blair acted on detailing Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction from 2003,” Cameron later responded after news surfaced the article was missing, adding, “I’m only gone a wet week and the place has already gone to shite”.

Meanwhile, during the search, Article 49, which sets out the conditions for re-joining the EU has been found with the pages stuck together under David Cameron’s old bed.