Pet Cat Doesn’t Give A Fuck About Your Day


DESPITE the best efforts of cat owners, it has been confirmed that your cat has zero interest about how your day went.

While many cat owners return home from a hard day at the office to regale their pets with tales of how much of a bitch Sharon in accounts is, it is believed cats could care less and their interest is lessened further in cases when their owners speak to them in their high pitched ‘cat voices’.

“I couldn’t give less of a fuck if I tried,” explained Waterford based cat Felix, “oh your sales figures are up for the first time in months, I cough up my own hair for a living, go tell someone who actually gives a shit,” Felix added, before bolting out of the room for no good reason.

Cats, famously aloof and uncaring creatures, are still being used by their owners as a sounding board off which to express their work frustrations even though their felines are clearly not interested.

“I’m usually in the middle of a good licking session when in she comes, all in a big bother, to tell me someone is after eating the Mars bar she had in the office kitchen,” explained another cat, Martin.

“Yup, tell a cat all about that, great idea. And she wonders why I claws holes in her tights,” Martin added.

It is believed it is only in the rarest cases that a cat will actively take an interest in anything going on in their owners lives, even if Rachel in the office sort of smiled when you held the door open for her.