SHOCKING! Simon Harris Has Aged 40 Years After First Weeks In Charge Of Health


DISTURBING images have reached WWN this morning, which suggest the tough and unforgiving cabinet position of minister for health has already had a crushing effect on TD Simon Harris.

It is widely acknowledged that the health post is the toughest task a politician can be handed, and it appears the youthful Simon Harris has already been crushed by the weight of the work, just weeks into taking up the mantle.

Harris, the Fine Gael TD for Wicklow, famed for his boyish good looks which had in the past led to accusations that he held the key to eternal life is now virtually unrecognisable.

After mere days into the gruelling work of being the 3,456th minister tasked with papering over the HSE’s cracks, it is clear from the shocking photo above that the health brief has taken its toll.

“Jesus, having to beg pharmaceutical companies to offer patients cancer drugs for a reasonable price is really hitting him hard, I found it easier to pretend to care, that might be his mistake there,” remarked Leo Varadkar, who admitted he no longer recognised his cabinet colleague.

“Making peace with not helping any sick people is the easy part, the damage health does to your political career is what really hurts,” Varadkar added.

The 29-year-old Harris’s face now more closely resembles the withered testicle of a pensioner than that of a youthful alter boy, causing much concern in political circles.

“Ah, he’ll get used to it. It happens to us all. Sure, I’ve looked like this since I was 16,” added minister for finance Michael Noonan.