FF And FG Agree To Pretend Scrapping Water Charges


AFTER endless talks and negotiations, Irish political Parties Fine Gael and Fianna Fail have agreed to pretend scrapping all water charges for the time being, until everyones foot is fully in the government door.

A deal involving the suspension of water charges is expected to be finalised later today to facilitate a Fine Gael-led minority government, with the option of reintroducing the charges later down the line when it suits them.

“We’ll give it a year or two before we start bringing the charges back in,” acting Taoiseach Enda Kenny explained. “Fianna Fail has agreed this is the best way forward, just as long as their voters are fooled long enough into believing they did all they can. It’s a win-win situation”.

So far Fine Gael is still short six seats to form a minority government, but these are expected to be filled by TD’s who were promised favours.

“I wouldn’t mind lifting the drink driving law in Kerry,” said Fianna Fail TD Michael Healy-Rae. “I heard one lad asking for better resources at his local hospital. Some people in here are just delusional altogether”.

Meanwhile, water protesters across the country spent the day celebrating the pretend news, posting humourous memes and tributes to themselves like it’s no ones business.