HSE To Give Cutting Mental Health Funds A Go

ACCORDING to media reports the HSE and the Dept. of Health are seeking to reallocate €12 million of the €35 million mental health budget to other areas of the Nation’s health services which are deemed to have more urgent needs.

The minister with responsibility for mental health, Kathleen Lynch has put on record her concern with such a decision, but it is believed the HSE ‘might just give it a go anyway’.

“We’re sticking kids in adult psychiatric units, we’re 1,000 psychiatric nurses short, what’s a little more cutting gonna do? Be grand,” a spokesperson for the HSE told WWN.

The Dept. of Health has confirmed that they would have cut mental health funding years ago only for the fact it has never really had funding in the first place.

“Ah, we’ll give it a go I think, sure it’s not like the government tried to cut the entirety of the mental health budget in the last budget,” a HSE spokesperson explained to WWN, failing to acknowledge Michael Noonan and Brendan Howlin had sought to cut the money ring fenced for mental health from €35 million to €0 in the last budget, but failed when objections from other ministers were raised.

“Our current strategy which is to tell sad lads to ‘cheer the fuck up’ is working wonders, so at the end of the day what’s a cut of €12 million to an area of Irish life which isn’t really having any huge problems now anyway,” a member of the HSE top brass told WWN.

The proposed cut of €12 million is expected to reduce the number of headlines about A&E overcrowding making HSE management look bad by some 0.000001%.

“Look, we’ve stopped calling them nutjobs and loopers in our meetings with the government, what more do you bloody want,” concluded one HSE manager.