Dog Belonging To The Monk’s Neighbour’s Second Cousin Killed In Hit And Run


TENSIONS are mounting again in Dublin’s inner city this afternoon after yet another gangland hit, this time the victim being the Monk’s neighbour’s second cousin’s dog.

At about 8.37am this morning, a green van was spotted racing from the scene of a hit and run, which took the life of the four-year-old cocker spaniel, who is believed to be well known to dog wardens in the area.

Gardaí believe the animal was mowed down shortly after being let out for his morning pee by owner Mark Little, whose second cousin Andy Pearce lives just 34 doors down from the Monk.

“This feud has to stop before any more innocent lives are lost,” Mr. Little appealed to a large group of reporters, who just happened to be camping out in the area for the past two months waiting for a scoop. “Benji was a loving father of 34 kids. Who’s going to sniff their buttholes now?”

So far, the gangland war in Ireland’s capital has seen several high profile figures murdered in cold blood, with many believing this latest incident to be the last straw.

“They can kill each other all they want, but when animals get involved, that’s when things stoop to another level,” said a source close to the Monk’s neighbour’s second cousins dog. “Fair enough, Benji may have shit on his own doorstep a few times, but there was no need for him to be taken out like that”.

Detectives have urged witnesses to come forward and that they would like to speak to the owner of a green 2006 mini van which may have the lettering ‘a-n-p-o-s-t’ on the side.

“This an post word may be a code name, so if anyone out there can help, please ring us immediately,” urged a Garda spokesperson.