“Fuck Sake,” Confirms Nation After Seeing Election Exit Polls


AFTER catching sight of the thousands of exit polls now flooding news and TV outlets, the Nation has collectively let out a huge sigh accompanied by the words “fuck sake”, WWN can exclusively reveal.

With counting under way, all exit polls have indicated that no party will have anything approaching a majority of seats, and with Fine Gael and Fianna Fáil supposedly unwilling to become part of a coalition it is now likely a second election will take place this year.

“Ugh, Christ, we can’t catch a fucking break,” member of the public Aine Gormley screamed out loud, clearly frustrated the Nation is incapable of collectively voting in such a way that provides Ireland with a government that isn’t filled to the brim with pricks.

However, political experts have stated that such an outcome, currently unfolding in count centres across the country, was inevitable.

“When you have such a dearth of decent human beings actually running for public office, then you tend to split the vote, with everyone resigned to choosing the least corrupt and morally bankrupt candidate they can,” explained political expert Sarah Humpreys.

As the Nation continues to find new and colourful swear words to use to best express their frustration with Irish politics, many voters are struggling with the fact they will have to do it all again.

“I can’t sit through another leaders’ debate, no, no, you can’t make me. I won’t do it, no fucking way,” a panicked and emotional member of the public, Tim Healy shouted in the direction of WWN as he ran away.

It is believed a likely second election will take place this year with the same bunch of pricks.