Starters Overpriced Because We Can, Confirm Restaurants

THE Restaurants Association of Ireland has today defended over-priced starter dishes, stating the course is priced that way because they can.

Chief Executive of the group, Aidan Carroll, said petite starter courses ranging anywhere between €7 and €40 were “all part of the game” and that customers should shut their bloody mouths if they can’t see the reasoning behind the extortionate prices.

“Yeah, starters are a bit of a con, so what?” Carroll told WWN. “Four garlic mushrooms, bit of garlic mayo, splash of lettuce, nine euro or fuck off to McDonald’s with yourself,” before asking “What, early birds menus not cheap enough for ye?”

Asked whether he had any explanation at all behind the ridiculous charge, he replied: “Yeah, to make a 500% markup on profits, you gobshite”.

Since the outbreak of celebrity chefs, cookery shows and general consumerism, starter options have almost quadrupled since 1994, back when the only option was a prawn cocktail.

“We’ve come a long way since then,” Waterford chef Timothy Doyle explained. “Now we have bruschetta, which is basically a bit of bread and some chopped tomatoes (€8.99), Deep fried Brie, which is a cube of cheese (€14) and impossible to eat crab claws that costs more than most main courses. Essentially, people are idiots”.

The Restaurants Association of Ireland confirmed it will not be addressing over-priced, second-rate food anytime soon.