WWN Guide To Throwing Rocks At Emergency Services

THERE are those among us who would never dream about throwing a rock at anyone, let alone a member of the emergency services attending the scene of an accident. But going by the numbers of ambulance crews, fire brigade members and gardaí that get assaulted by groups of youths each year, some people clearly possess a greater capacity for rock-throwing than the rest of us.

If you’ve ever heard of an emergency crew coming under attack and thought, “that sounds like something society needs more of”, then just follow these simple guides to get in on the action!

Clear your mind

Breathe. Focus. Relax your body. To be in the right mindset to throw a rock at an ambulance, you need to totally clear your mind. Think of nothing. Empty your brain. Just be all like “duh”. Most people who throw rocks at the emergency services can maintain this state of mind at all times.

Know your target

All vehicles belonging to the emergency services are clearly marked, but those who throw rocks at them are usually unable to read. So as a simple guide, the red ones are fire engines, the green and yellow ones are ambulances, and the white and blue cars are the guards. You’d hate to be telling your mates that you threw a beer bottles at an ambulance, only for them to correct you and say that it was a fire engine you were pelting. You’d be considered some sort of moron, wouldn’t you?

Disregard any actual emergency

If you see a member of the emergency services, they’re usually attending some sort of emergency; a fire, a car-crash, something like that. The vast majority of people can look at a situation like that and say, ok, there’s some people doing a very hard job, a job that is critical to the survival of other people. Let’s not throw rocks at them while they’re doing that. If you want to throw rocks at them, you need to overcome this, or those emergency workers will go unattacked.

Do not fear repercussion

So some windows get broken. So some people get some stitches. So a fire doesn’t get put out as quickly as it might have done. None of it affects you! You can go on home that night and enjoy your life, free from any worry that you might have to face up to the consequences of your actions. You’re never going to get the shit kicked out of you like you deserve; even if you do get caught by the cops, you’re probably just going to get a fine that you’re never going to pay. Granted, you are considered one of the lowest forms of scumbag out there, but when has that bothered you in the past?