Local Man Checks Over His Shoulder For Minorities Before Continuing Story


AN anecdote being told by a Waterford man to his neighbour has devolved into a series of stops and pauses, as the teller of the story has to check over his shoulder every so often to make sure he’s not in the vicinity of any minorities who may take offence to the next part of his tale.

Dungarvan native Donal Malone bumped into his neighbour Sean Hamill this morning, as the pair were leaving their houses to hang around town and do nothing all day. Talk between the pair soon moved to the exploits of the past weekend, which led Malone to start telling Hamill “a great one” about his trip to the pub on Friday past.

Malone, 34, isn’t a racist, but just in case, he felt the need to make sure that there are no African, Chinese, Muslim, or Indian people around while recalling a story which cast a poor light on African, Chinese, Muslim, and Indian people.

As the story continued, Malone has adopted a “quick check” system to make sure that he could continue to use every racial slur in his repertoire without fear of being reprimanded.

“It’s a system that works well for me,” said Malone, known locally as a bit of a prick.

“Whenever the story is about to get a bit racist, I just give a quick one-two glance over each shoulder to make sure I’m not being heard. I’m not a racist, but the story is hugely racist and OK, yeah, I come across as a bit of a racist by telling it, so I just make sure the coast is clear before I go on with it”.

The longest pause in the story came when Malone spotted a black lady approaching from across the road, at which point he told Hamill to “hold on a second” because he “couldn’t really talk” right now.