Paul Murphy Practising His ’12 Angry Men’ Speech Ahead Of Trial


IN an effort to ensure his upcoming trial does not end in a guilty verdict, TD Paul Murphy has begun studiously practising his best ’12 Angry Men’ speech which will be used to convince the jury he is innocent.

Murphy stands accused of murdering Tánaiste Joan Burton via a series of devastating delays in her diary, schedule, after barricading the Labour leader in her car at an Irish Water protest in Jobstown, Dublin.

“You must find this innocent man not guilty, you have a moral obligation to the truth God damn it,” Murphy screamed at his reflection in the mirror while banging his fist on a table, frustrated with himself at being unable to mimic the grace and poise of screen legend and 12 Angry Men star Henry Fonda.

Murphy composed himself once more before uttering what he hoped would be the defining exchange of the trial.

“Let me ask you this – do you really think I’d barricade her in her own car so the whole neighbourhood could see it? I don’t think so? I’m much too bright for that,” Murphy rehearsed while wondering how he could work the pocket knife scene from the famous movie into his own defence.

Rehearsing a grand standing speech that will enter the hearts and mind of the Nation, immortalising the Dublin TD forever, is just one of the upsides to being required to stand trial.

The downside, however, remains as making a Government minister slightly uncomfortable while sitting in a car carries a maximum sentence of 90 years in prison.