Dublin Man Realises He’s Living In Dublin

A DUBLIN city resident has expressed shock and complete distress today on his RTE1 radio show after finally coming to the realisation that he is living in Dublin city, Ireland, an island on the west of Europe, The World.

Disc Jockey Joseph Duffy, who has apparently spent all his waking life living in the capital city and not somewhere fancy like Malta, reportedly broke down live on air following the revelation, sending him into an emotional tirade filled with disgust and disbelief.

“Dublin’s an awful fuckin’ kip so it’tis,” he lashed out, sending hoards of elderly listeners into cardiac arrest. “I can’t believe I’m from this shithole. Why didn’t I notice before? State of the buildings be’jaysis! The fucking seagulls are even flyin’ upside down over it……’cause it ain’t worth shittin’ on!”

The radio station was then reportedly bombarded with phone calls and email complaints, slamming the broadcasters on-air outburst slating the cities “shitty pound shops”.

“He’s nothing but a traitor after this,” said one long-time listener, no-time caller. “Nothing worse than a Dubliner giving out about pound shops. Pound shops never hurt anyone. His shopist views are not what I’m paying my licence for.”

Following the two hour rant, Mr. Duffy was then forcefully removed by Gardai and arrested for inciting hatred. He was formally arrested and reprimanded as a file is being prepared for the DPP.