FORGET thigh gaps: the elbow triangle is the new yardstick by which female beauty will be measured. We’ve scoured the internet looking for the sexiest three-point spaces between arm and body to bring you the following list of the sexiest elbow triangles you’ll ever see!
1) Scarlett Johansson
Avengers star Scarlett shown here rocking an elbow triangle that you could drive a f’kn bus through! The Hollywood beauty showcases exactly the kind of isosceles arm-placement that sets her apart from you, with your wonky arms all over the place. Better stick to wearing ponchos until you can pull this off!
2) Emily Blunt
British beauty Emily Blunt, displaying the kind of right-angle perfection that would give Pythagoras himself a boner. Did you spend the past year in the gym, starving yourself to get a thigh gap? WASTE OF TIME. If you haven’t got an elbow triangle like Emily, you have failed as a woman. You disgust us.
3) Anne Hathaway
Holy crap, the elbow triangle that Anne Hathaway is throwing out there is damn near a perfect equilateral! This is a level of womanhood that you cannot hope to aspire to, unless you have extensive arm surgery. Maybe you should have extensive arm surgery. It’s not a bad idea.
4) Jennifer Lopez
Jennifer Lopez is 46 and has two kids, but can still fire out scalene elbow tri’s like a woman half her age. What’s your excuse? You work all day and can’t make it to the gym? Healthy food is too expensive? You’re happy with the way you look right now? Get out of our sight.
5) Giuliana Rancic
You think you’ve seen the sexiest tri-corner space capable of being formed by a woman’s body, and then BAM! Fashion Police host Giuliana goes and throws ’em out on a double. The Hollywood beauty really puts the “cute” in “Acute triangle”. Not like you. You put the “mess” in “horrible mess”.