Drunk Guy At Banklink Doesn’t Need This Many Options

CURRENTLY on his fourth attempt to withdraw twenty euro from his current account and facing increasing hostility from the crowd queuing behind him, drunk student Martin Mahon has declared that there’s no good God damned reason for an ATM to have this many options.

Mahon, 24, found himself to be quite out of funds during a fairly hardy session with the lads and opted to withdraw money from the bank machine instead of being ‘that prick’ who pays with a card at the bar.

The Galway native quickly found himself overwhelmed by the sheer amount of barriers put in place by the ATM between him and the score he so badly needs.

“Why is it asking me do I want it to talk in Irish to me,” slurred Mahon, falling victim to the influences of nine pints and fresh air.

“And then it keeps asking me if I really want a receipt or do I want to look after the environment… this is needlessly complicated, so it is. I just want money; they should have that option. Just stick in your card and press ‘money’, it gives you money. This is like applying for a fucking mortgage”.

To the delight of the crowd lined up behind him, Mahon finally worked out that the machine has no twenties left, and could only dispense in multiples of fifty. He then withdrew 100 euro, which he will have no knowledge of the next morning, leading him to believe that he ‘must have been robbed’.