Great New Song Ruined Now That Your Mother Is Humming It

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THAT song you’ve been singing for the last month has now been completely ruined after you found your mother humming the living daylights out of it earlier this afternoon while doing some ironing.

Completely unaware she had access to Spin 103.8, your mother was halfway through humming FourFiveSeconds by Rihanna, Kanye West and Paul McCartney before you realised the gravity of the situation.

It is thought you will be close to vomiting once your mother gets around to singing the line ‘I might get a little drunk’ shortly before letting out an excited and playful giggle.

Despite your protestations, your mother will explain that ‘I know Paul McCartney very well, he’s been going since I was a child and did you know he wrote the greatest song of all time – Mull of Kintyre?’

It is thought the combined pop culture credentials of Rihanna and Kayne West will not be enough to save your favourite song of the moment from being ruined as you permanently link it to the memory of your mother trying to dance with you while saying ‘what? I’m cool’.

25% of all cutting edge chart music suffers the indignity of being enjoyed by parents up and down the country, leading to a sharp rise in psychical CD sales of the songs but a dramatic drop in Youtube and Spotify streaming of the songs.

Collecting yourself momentarily, you had convinced yourself the song itself could retain some of its magic before your mother promptly asked ‘what does wildin’ mean?’

Over 450,000 songs in the last decade have fallen fowl of parents’ endorsements.

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