Latest Dublin Transport Plan Pulled Directly Out Of Government’s Arse



THE Government’s latest announcement in relation to the future of a proposed Dublin city transport link to the airport originated from the Government’s arsehole, WWN can reveal.

The long mused over plans in relation to airport transport links predate the current Government and have undergone many variations and changes due to lack of funding and the use of expert advice, with the commencement on such a project no sooner in sight.

“Apologies for the shit, but we did pull it out of our arse in fairness,” Minister for Transport Pascal O’Donoguhue told the media as he passed around several sheets containing a broad outline of the plan.

Government TDs in attendance declined to sit down for obvious reasons, instead preferring to stand as they took questions from the press.

A link from the Luas to the airport now seems the most likely option, some several years after an initial plan for Dublin Metro were shelved due to a lack of funds.

The consultation process has been whittled down to just 6 proposed options meaning the Nation’s capital is just another decade or so short of being told that particular plan has been scraped again, leaving taxi and lengthy bus services the only option for commuters.

While the Minister for Transport would not reveal if the ‘arse method’ is being used for several other policies, he failed to provide an alternative explanation.