Dozens Attend Pro Life Protest Outside Teenager’s Bedroom Who Insists On Aborting Sperm


A SMALL but vocal protest from a Pro Life group Shut Up, Keep It (SUKI) is taking place outside the bedroom of a 16-year-old transition year student James Hickey.

The protest was sparked after word spread to SUKI about Hickey’s intention to abort over 70 million sperm.

“We had heard this unconscionable act was devised earlier this morning when Hickey called in sick to school and began looking up ‘threesomes’ on Pornhub,” head of SUKI Malachi Folan told WWN, “people may mock but this homicidal maniac has to be stopped”.

As Hickey made his way from his bedroom across the hall to the bathroom, members of the protest began shouting and jeering the teenager, with one person believed to have spat on the 16-year-old when he returned for the bathroom brandishing lubricant.

“Want not, wank not,” cried the chant of the intimidating crowd as they pawed at Hickey’s bedroom door as he presumably began preparation for aborting his sperm.

“I don’t take this decision lightly, but it’s my body and when I get the horn on I’ll watch a bit of porn if I want,” Hickey confirmed to WWN.

The delicate procedure was carried out by Hickey several times this morning, with recovery time between abortions believed to be 45 minutes.