Met Éireann Issues Status ‘Country’s Fucked Lads’ Weather Warning


IRISH national meteorological service, Met Éireann, has just issued a status ‘Country’s Fucked Lads’ weather warning – its highest level ever recorded.

The latest alerts came as motorists were advised to take extra care with the high winds and icy roads in a number of areas around the country.

Extreme Wintry, thundery showers of hail, sleet and snow are expected from the sky direction, with snow accumulations of a whopping 4-8 cm.

The country’s fucked lads warnings from Met Éireann are relatively rare.

“We’re just fucking fucked lads,” warned meteorologist, Nuala Carey. “No, seriously, we’re bolloxed. Best kiss everyone you know goodbye. Just pray it’s quick and painless”.

AA Roadwatch says extreme caution is needed and is advising motorists to not close their eyes while driving and to make sure to allow at least an extra week or two to reach their destinations.

“If you become trapped in your car, we advise to curl up into the fetal position and breathe in shallow, whimpering breaths”.

Gardaí advised motorists to drive as fast as they can through any flood they may come across in a bid to “skim” the car over the floods.

Bus Éireann says there are delays on all its routes, but this is to be expected from a mediocre service that charges extortionate fees from their customers anyway.