9 Reasons Why Taoiseach Enda Kenny Should Resign

1. Enda Kenny is an anagram of Jobs For The Boys, as if further proof was needed that he should resign.

2. December 1999 in Castlebar, then opposition TD Enda Kenny parked in a disabled spot outside a Mace for just over 78 seconds. Bastard.

3. Enda Kenny thinks a solid job strategy is at the heart of Ireland’s future, which just fucking wrong because everyone knows children are the future.

4. WWN can confirm Enda Kenny spends much of his evening now throwing water out the window just for the ‘craic’. He is also known to take extra long showers such are his astonishing abuses of power.

5. Every time a member of the public talks to the Taoiseach directly, he looks as if he is listening intently only to ask ‘what?’ once the person is finished. Bastard.

6. Bastard.

7. Enda Kenny admitted he’s never even watched Love/Hate.

8. Enda Kenny is directly responsible for that loud buzzing sound in your ears and your bad back.

9. Despite being in full employment since the 1970s, a member of the public confirmed to WWN that ‘Enda has never worked a day in his life’. Typical.

Reasons that didn’t quite make the cut: staying virtually silent on the mental health crisis, homelessness crisis, ignoring the plight of immigrants, refusing to reform unworkable abortion laws, no Seanad reform and not doing enough for Magdalene survivors and symphysiotomy sufferers.

If you want An Taoiseach Enda Kenny to resign and change Ireland for the better sign the petition at change.org/petition/Endayouscutterybollix