Spider To Wait Until You’re Nice And Relaxed Before Appearing Out Of Nowhere



THE spider lurking behind your skirting board is expected to wait until you are nice and relaxed this evening before apparently appearing out of nowhere.

The Tegenaria, a giant house spider and one of 400 spider species in Ireland, made its way into your house in a bid to find a mate ahead of the Winter season via that window you left open last night.

It is believed the arachnid should start making its way across your living room floor from around 8pm, carefully feeling for vibrations from you and your family.

“Tegenaria’s are quick and can have a leg span of several centimeters – depending on how mature it is,” explained one expert, who still can’t bring himself to catch one with his bare hands, even after years of research, “they often come out at night-time and can be quite tricky to catch”.

The spider in your house right now knows how scared you are of it, and will probably attempt to frighten you at the most inappropriate time.

“They usually wait until you are nice and relaxed on the couch or in bed before venturing out in the open,” added the expert, who was now shivering at the thought of it. “There are probably up to twenty of them already dwelling in different locations around your house right now so the likelihood of you seeing one is very high at this time of the year”.

Catching such a species may be done by using a large glass, but don’t hesitate too much as they are known to jump or scamper off quite quickly into a secure nook or cranny.

“If you fail to catch one they may seek revenge and shit in your mouth while you sleep. So make sure to do it right first go,” the expert concluded.