Obama Orders Airstrikes On Ebola

PRESIDENT Barack Obama told Americans today that he has authorised U.S. airstrikes for the first time in Africa in a broad escalation of a campaign against the Ebola virus.

Mr. Obama said the United States is ready to take leadership for a global response to the deadly Ebola virus that is ravaging Liberia in West Africa. He announced plans to launch “blanket airstrikes” on key Ebola positions in a bid to “vaporize” the highly infectious disease.

In a widely anticipated speech, Obama said he would hunt down the microscopic virus “wherever it is” in a drive to degrade and ultimately destroy it.

“Ebola will succumb to our military might,” he said. “Faced with this outbreak, the world is looking to us, the United States, and it’s a responsibility that we embrace. We will launch airstrikes this evening in Liberia, Sierra Leone, Nigeria and Senegal.”

“You’re welcome Africa,” he added.

However, critics have slammed Mr. Obama’s decision, stating that it is ludicrous to bomb a country suffering a viral epidemic.

“Seriously, this doesn’t make any sense,” said one man who moans a lot. “How many innocent people will be killed in these airstrikes? Do they not know Ebola is actually spread through blood and other bodily fluids. Bombing people will only make things worse”.

U.S. officials have confirmed a shipment of 14 drones to the region and have guaranteed allies that only infected people and regions will be targeted.