Dublin Girl Pretty Sure She’ll Sleep With Best Friend’s Boyfriend At Some Point

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DUBLIN girl Emer Reilly has accepted that in all likelihood she will, at some point, in the near or distant future sleep with her best friend’s new boyfriend.

Emer confirmed these thoughts to herself in the smoking area of Everleigh Gardens at 3.15 am last Saturday following a particularly raucous round of what experts are calling ‘banter’ with her best friend Alannah’s new boyfriend Jack.

“He’s not good enough for Alannah, he’s a creep,” Emer said to friends not long after biting her lip and smiling at Jack from across a crowded dance floor.

Emer spent much of the following hour slowly placing the paranoid seeds of doubt in her best friend since forever’s head regarding the character and ability of her boyfriend to stay ‘loyal’.

“You don’t get to go out with someone as amazing as you unless you’re totally perfect,” Emer added in the taxi home to her now drunk and emotional friend before adding he doesn’t even shave his chest and that can hardly be a good sign, can it?

As Emer made Alannah get out of the taxi at the entrance to her estate she remembered her best friend would be in London next weekend and Jack would probably need help shopping for his girlfriend’s upcoming birthday.

Emer confirmed to herself that lingerie would be the ideal present but in order for Jack to know what to get Alannah, she would have to model all the possible choices and parade around the fitting room asking ‘would this turn you on’ and ‘why did we never get together back in day, God it’s probably because I’m not pretty, am I?”

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