Kate Bush Ascends Into Heaven During Encore At Comeback Gig



WWN was at the music comeback of the century as Kate Bush took to the Hammersmith Apollo stage in London to perform live for the first time in 35 years.

The critical darling played the entirety of her seminal song cycle The Ninth Wave as music critics were caught in several different existential states, including masturbating, fainting and discovering the meaning of life.

Bush, using much the same notes used by all other bands, musicians, composers and singers that have gone before her wowed the lucky crowd with a number choreographed routines not too dissimilar to what music experts have previously called ‘dancing’.

NME, The Guardian, Uncut, Q Magazine, the Times and 4,000 other publications went on to give the concert 6 out of 5 stars, seemingly unable to comprehend the long established rating system for various artistic disciplines involving luminous spheres of plasma.

Of course, there were as ever some cynics present, but they were soon enthralled as during her classic hit Hounds of Love, Bush invented a brand new musical note, believed to be the long searched for ‘H’ note.

After a short 12 hour set, the evening came to a close. Rapturous applause filled the Apollo with the crowd safe in the knowledge they had experienced a once in a lifetime experience much like those individuals present at the concerts of Jimmy Eat World, Dido, Toploader and Will Young.

With her set coming to a close, Bush announced she had one more act planned for her encore. The Apollo’s sturdy and resolute structure broke away, with the Heavens opening up for all to see, Bush with her eyes locked on the crowd, despite some of them still masturbating furiously, took to floating high above the stage.

A booming voice was heard from above, it was that of God our creator. Bush humbly waved to the crowd as she continued her ascent to Heaven, leaving this planet and her mortal coil forever.

2/5 stars.