You Are Drunk


st. patrick's day

WWN can reveal after carrying out an extensive survey of the Irish public, chances are you are probably quite drunk right now at this very moment.

It is thought that the vast majority of Irish men are currently urinating in public while Irish women look on in envious horror.

A total of 15% of the Nation’s men will declare their undying love for someone on St. Patrick’s Day and more worryingly, some 3% of men will mistake an inanimate object for the love of their life and will subsequently be arrested for indecent exposure.

Hmm, you are craving a kebab.

While many people will try to enjoy the festivities without the aid of alcohol it is very likely that you will ruin the Nation’s most anticipated public holiday for them.

She is a total bitch but just forget about it, forget her. She’s stupid.

Depending on how much alcohol you consume there is a possibility that you will befriend a tramp and make him many empty promises.

Ugh, stupid American tourists.

You have lost your coat.