Civil Unrest As Price Of Chomp Bars Jump To 30c


The government were last night considering a declaration of Martial Law following the third day of civil unrest sparked by Cadburys decision to increase the price of a Chomp to 30 cent.

The 20 percent increase in the cost of the beloved chewy bar lit the fuse on a powder-keg that has been waiting to explode for several years, with many citing it as the last straw after nearly six years of austerity. Mass protests were held over several nights all across the country, which led to many ugly scenes as angry civilians clashed with riot police in Dublin and Cork.

“The people of this country have had enough”, said Chocolate Rights spokesperson Matthew Meehan. “Over the years we have held a truce with Cadburys over the pricing of their products, where it was accepted that many of their bars would increase in cost, but the Chomp was sacrosanct. We stood by and watched as the price of a Freddo went up, and we said nothing. We even let it slide when they reduced the number of sticks in a pink Snack from three to two, but to increase the price of the Chomp? This will not stand”.

An appeal for calm has been issued by the Irish Chocolate Society, who have organised a candlelit protest at the Cadburys plant in Coolock for this Sunday. Speaking exclusively to WWN, ICS president Liam Smyth has expressed hope that cool heads will prevail.

“We’re all very angry about the price increase”, said Smyth. “But we’re hoping that our protest will go off peacefully. There are been reports that riot police have been authorized to use water cannons and tear gas, so I urge anyone coming to Coolock to only do so if they can remain calm throughout the vigil”

“Our only chance is for Cadbury to see the error of their decision”, he added.

“As the years have gone by, the cost of a Chomp has risen, but wages have been frozen. People just can’t afford chocolate bars anymore. The 25c Chomp was the bar of the austerity generation; you could buy four of them for a euro, whereas a Dairy Milk is 1:15. To increase the price is disgraceful. All we’re asking for is the price to return to 25c… If they do that, we’ll even let it slide that they’ve also decreased the actual size of a Chomp at the same time, the greedy gits”.