5 Reasons Why We Want You To Click On This Irish Shit List Link To Our Website
Wait till you see this numbered list we have in store for you today. You’re probably wondering how we manage to come up with all these hilarious pointers all the time. Well, its quite simple really; we’re just a zany bunch here. Nearly everyone in the WWN office is very witty and entertaining. Theres never a dull moment.
Pageviews are important to any online publication, as the number of pageviews every month can impact greatly on potential advertising. For instance, if we were to sign up a company for 100,000 pageviews, then we would have to deliver that number of impressions in the fastest way possible to get our money. What better way to whore out views than with an Irish shit list that is guaranteed to attract all those thousands of people starving for stimulation out there.
2) Because Every Other On-line Publication Is Doing It
Due to the success of websites like Buzzfeed and Reddit, hundreds of Irish Websites like ourselves have now copped on that a quick picture shit list is the way forward if you want to bring traffic to your site. Especially young people traffic – the people who are easily influenced by advertising. We don’t want the 30-55 bracket. No siree. Those clever bastards use things like adblockers and are also immune to advertising. Numb fucks. They also seem to be sick of Father Ted memes and Anchorman quotes so we don’t want them spoilsports wasting our time.
3) We ran out of article ideas
Sometimes there is not enough news in the day, or as we say in the game ‘A slow news day’. Get it? Cause the news is slow on that particular day. So what better way to fill the gap than a good old Irish list of things like: ’10 things that let you know your name is Seamus from Clare’ or ‘You know you’re a Co. Tipperary quantum physicist with one leg when…’. You see it doesn’t matter how stupid the list is. Thats the beauty of them. Its like when you find yourself watching a late night shopping channel for three hours in your underwear and have no concept of time. Also, look at the funny picture we picked for this one. The man is trying to write but can’t think of anything. HAHAHAHA….Fitting. Gas out so we are.
4) We want to show you how witty we can be
Here at WWN we are constantly in competition with one another to see who is the wittiest person in the office. So much so that we have recently resorted to making up hilarious shit lists – like, all the time. Everyone here tries to better the next guy by coming up with lists. Our editor then picks the best list to be published every day. Currently I’m winning. Thats why you are reading this. I’m great craic.
As I pointed out in earlier, pageviews are very important when selling advertising to companies. The bottom line really is money. The more pageviews, the more advertising, and the more money we can make from you clicking on our site. Why do you think we tease you all the time by posting something like ‘Have a look at this picture of a cute cat on our website’. I mean, we could have just posted that picture to facebook, right? Nah, not us. We need you to visit our site. Posting a picture directly would be a total waste of our time and money.