Travellers Told To Adopt D4 Accent If They Want To Move In

A controversial site in the salubrious surroundings of Dublin’s Mount Merrion market for a number of families from the travelling communities is in the news again today.

Proposals to house several traveller families in the upmarket area of Mount Merrion have been passed despite being met with vociferous opposition by local residents and councillors who feel the families would be better suited living elsewhere.

Residents of Mount Merrion, home to much vaunted secondary school Mount Anville, insist they are reluctant to accommodate members of the travelling community.

A ray of hope surfaced today, however when it was suggested at a local community meeting that were travellers to adopt a pleasant D4 accent it may be easier for them to be assimilated into the leafy and luxurious suburb.

“We’re not saying they are utter filth who should be wiped off the earth. We’re saying if they sounded like us and maybe acted exactly the same as we do then we wouldn’t have an irrational fear of them” offered one resident at the meeting.

Some exchanges at the meeting were less understanding. “I’ve heard of one instance where they ate a baby, a full baby – not half!” said another resident before he leapt through a window in a fit of panic.

This is not the first time Mount Merrion has been in the news courting controversy. In recent years, it has been the site on which publican Charlie Chawke was shot at close range by armed robbers and the community has been the location for countless drug raids which have resulted in multimillion euro drug seizures.

These incidences have left travellers reluctant to move into the area. “Fierce dangerous from what I hear,” Martin Ward shared with WWN, “we don’t want no trouble, but the amount of crime there now, not sure I can put my family through it.”

On the subject of adopting an accent to fit in Ward expressed concern. “Tradition is very important to us and so is there tradition I think, we wouldn’t want to be seen making fun of their pseudo-American culture. Wouldn’t be fair.”