Australia To Hold ‘Minutes Violence’ For Late Chopper Read
THE ENTIRE continent of Australia is to hold a minutes ‘violence’ for the recently deceased criminal Chopper Read, their government confirmed today.
Absolutely every citizen will be asked to carry out mundane acts of brutality at 3pm tomorrow afternoon in memory of the Ozzy hard-man.
Local councils will distribute an array of weaponry across the nation , in what is set to be the biggest organised rampage the world has ever seen.
“I can’t wait to get stuck in to some fellas with a knife and frenzy the fuckers up.” said one man. “There will be mayhem tomorrow mate. Fair dinkum to old Chopper!”
Mr Read was diagnosed with the terminal illness in April 2012. He later had tumours removed but was admitted to hospital again last month before dying in a blaze of glory tucked into his hospital bed.
It is expected that thousands of Australians will die horribly or be maimed to death in tomorrows ‘Minutes Violence’.
Prime minister Tony Abbott has urged people to ‘make the best’ out of the sixty second rampage, and to vent all differences between neighbours and gangs in the time allocated.
“This will be the only time government will allow such violence to go ahead unpunished,” he said. “So lets be fucking having it Sheila’s!!.”
Three thousand extra emergency service workers have been drafted in for the brief spell of madness.