Country Descends Into State Of Anarchy After McDowell Elopes With Only Known Copy Of Constitution

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THE GOVERNMENT has called a state of anarchy today following the disappearance of Michael McDowell and the Irish constitution –  both of which are believed to have eloped together on an Aerlingus flight to south America this morning.

Reinforcing the urgency of the situation, Taoiseach Enda Kenny has requested the UK to intervene “with force if necessary” to help quell the unrest in the Republic of Ireland.

It is understood the  Senior Counsel in the Bar Council of Ireland boarded a 09:30 flight to Argentina with the only known copy of the Irish constitution, following a live debate on TV3 last night.

Mr.McDowell wrote a letter detailing his reasons for eloping with the documents: ‘I love the Irish constitution and I will do everything in my power to protect it from those who wish to alter or destroy her.

‘These are difficult times in our nations history and I was left no choice but to defend our country’s rights.’

The grandson of Irish revolutionary Eoin MacNeill is expected to arrive in Buenos Aires at 15:50 Irish time.

Meanwhile at home, thousands of normally lawful abiding citizens took to the streets to loot and pillage local towns and cities following news of the elopement.

“Its best we make the most of the anarchy situation.” said accountant and father of two, James Brophey. “If there’s no constitution, there’s no laws in place, so fuck it.”

It is believed that many small towns in Munster have already been totally destroyed in the chaos, including Clonmel, Chair, Mooncoin and Tramore.

In the written statement, Mr. McDowell said he would only return home if the Seanad is guaranteed a place in Ireland’s foreseeable future.

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