Best fighter In First Year Loses Title After Being Struck By Bus


THE best fighter in first year was seriously hurt yesterday after cycling into an oncoming bus, according to gardai.

Witnesses told WWN that the boy rode his bike from a side street into traffic on Parnell Street without stopping at a stop sign.

John ‘crusher’ Dundon, from Lismore Lawns, has held the title of best fighter in first year since September.

John started his time in De La Salle College by beating two Ballygunnar second year pupils to the ground after they tried to give him a dead arm on the bus.

He later moved up the ranks when a third year student by the name of ‘Rashers’ O’ Gorman tried to trip him in the school corridor.

Eye witness reports stated that Dundon ‘lost his head’ and got the older student into a headlock and then ‘punched the face off him for at least two hours’. Fortunately a substitute science teacher broke up the fight before it could escalate to a full scale murder.

Both pupils were detained and a legend was born.

John was on top of his game for several weeks. His intimidating stare used to put shivers down the tiny spines of his fellow pupils. John openly talked about late night television shows other pupils were not aloud to watch, and he would always do his homework in the morning before class.

Sources say he didn’t care about the rules and would always get in trouble for talking back to teachers.

“He would sometimes make jokes about people in front of them and they would laugh with him, at themselves, so as they wouldn’t get beaten up” claimed a fellow first year student who wishes to remain anonymous.

Fortunately for his would be opponents, John’s 8 stone body was no match against the 4 tonne Paddy Brownes Road Bus, which crushed his arms, and more importantly, any dreams of becoming the best fighter in the whole  school.

Gardai said the driver was distracted by a friend who was talking to him from behind the yellow line at the time.

Dundon was taken to Ardkeen Hospital, where he is said to be in a serious but stable condition.