Producer Of €25 Sourdough Loaves Accused Of Preying On Vulnerable Hipsters 

A LOCAL artisan baker has been urged to cease trading, with authorities citing the fact he must be fully aware that middle class hipsters ‘cannot help themselves’ and face financial ruination.

“There are idiots who have put themselves in debt just to buy several loaves of sourdough from you each week. They hear the words ‘sourdough’, ‘artisanal’ and ‘as seen on FoodTok’ and they lose all reason, they black out and wake to find their hands full of bread and an empty wallet,” explained one financial assistance charity, pleading with Dublin 8 based baker Seán Crean.

Crean has fought back against critics stating that what he is doing is not against the law and that he isn’t forcing anyone to spend their money on his bread.

“No matter how many times I ask Seán to stop selling to my Cillian, he keeps serving him. Cill has just ordered five vinyls online and is bidding on Ebay for a 1998 Brazil World Cup jersey but the bread is the worst of it, I’ll have to cover rent again this month,” shared girlfriend to a hipster, Maeve Fallon.

“If their life is so empty and they are so devoid of a personality that they must fill it with things they can boast about to friends, who am I to stop them? It’s only bread, delicious notion-filled €25 bread but bread all the same,” explained Crean, in response.

UPDATE: In an escalation called ‘disgraceful’ Crean has revealed his next batch of loaves will cost €40 as they come with a limited edition pressing of the words ‘Fontaines DC’ embossed on them.

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