Mortgage Brokers To Be Stationed In Supermarkets To Help Families Pay For Shopping

LEADING SUPERMARKETS are to permit mortgage brokers to station themselves at checkouts in a bid to help families find the right lender to provide the credit required to pay for the weekly shop, amid a fresh round of price increases.

With the latest data from retail analysts finding price inflation at Irish supermarkets currently hitting 4.5%, there has never been a greater need for some solid advice on a fresh line of credit.

“While supermarket excel at displaying ever shrinking packaging at an ever rising price, we’re pretty useless at offering advice to customers when their card is declined and that’s where the brokers will come in,” said one supermarket manager.

“Being involved in the mortgage business I’m somewhat acquainted with prices that make you say ‘you’re taking the piss!’ which really means I’ll feel right at home when a family barely treading water can’t buy even the bare essentials in the supermarket,” confirmed one till-dwelling broker, who is strongly advising supermarket shoppers on their second shop of the week they will need a 20% deposit for the total shop price in cash.

With some reports putting the price of a weekly shop having increased by over 30% in the last four years, the need for financial assistance will increase but only in tandem with newspaper opinion pieces telling families it’s basically their own fault for buying a fancy instant coffee every so often.

Despite, the presence of some of the country’s most knowledgeable financial experts at nearby tills, mortgage brokers have confirmed they’re at a loss to explain what the fuck is up with Tesco club card prices.

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