Taoiseach Urged To See What Is Worst That Could Happen If He Snapped Hurl Over US President’s Head

A RADICAL approach to Taoiseach Micheál Martin’s meeting with US president Donald Trump on Wednesday has been proposed by swathes of the Irish public with previous knowledge of complex machinations of international diplomacy.

“I’m just saying there’s a huge chance the Secret Service lads who are already sick of Trump’s shit just high five you, and think how good it’ll feel,” offered one backer of a move to have the Taoiseach conk Trump on his orange demented dome with Ireland’s finest piece of ash.

Urged to think of the uniting effect such an act would have during a time when the world feels as fractured as it has ever been, Martin faces a diplomatically delicate time in America.

“Look we’re not saying their wouldn’t be personal consequences but at least consider it, and if going by the way Trump formulates sentences these days, you’d be putting an old, sick man out of his misery,” added many, specifying striking Trump at a time he’s spouting some unhinged neo-nazi talking point would be ideal.

If Trump and his ‘coterie of cunts’, including JD Vance, were to take offence to a hurl to the presidential peanut and call it an attack by Ukain’mas, a contingency plan has been drawn up by those advocating a White House shemozzle.

“Go the auld ‘Bishop Brennan kicked up the arse’ route and baldly deny anything happened at all, or failing that we can just say Micheál lost the plot altogether and doesn’t represent us. We’d get a GP to sign him off as madder than a snake in a fist fight, be grand” encouraged many.

Critics of this approach called on people to ‘be serious’ and tell the Taoiseach to go the sensible and sane route; lick the boot of a sexual abuser that was good friends with Jeffrey Epstein and is advocating for the complete eradication of Gaza, among other things, so we can keep our GPD artificially high.

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