Sulky Racing Makes Cheltenham Debut

CHELTENHAM FESTIVAL is proving that despite entering its 165th year of existence, it’s never too late to innovate and evolve, as organisers announced a series of sulky races will take place over the coming four days of racing festivities.

“I don’t know, I feel like they don’t have the best record with animal welfare,” said one sulky racer reluctantly taking part, who pointed to the horse racing industry’s shocking record on animal cruelty ranging from identity falsification of horses with microchips and fake passports to violence and killing.

“I know some people will say taking sulky races off the roads could reduce the risk and danger, and it’s certainly easier to follow, but do we want to get into bed with the likes of Irish horse racing industry? They disposed of 20,000 horse between 2010 and 2020,” added one sukly racing purist.

However for degenerate gamblers, their fears were immediately put to rest when it was pointed out two sulky races per day over the course of the festival presents them with eight additional races to lose their shirt on.

“We appreciate sponsors and brand partners’ reluctance to put their name to such events but once they see people in top hats politely cheering a horse crossing the line while champagne corks fly, they’ll realise there’s little true difference between the events,” explained head of the horse racing industry’s It’s Alright When We Do It division.

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