‘Blank Adoption Forms, Blackthorn Sticks’: The Veritas Stock Clear-Out Sale Begins

AS RELIGIOUS retailer and publisher Veritas is to close its doors for the last time in Dublin this month, WWN sifts through the items now currently on sale in the city centre store after being in business for the past 100 years.

As compulsory upon entering the Veritas store, we genuflect at a reduced to clear bin labelled ‘corporal punishment bin’ where we found an array of torture tools including blackthorn sticks, leather belts and several copies of the singing priests ‘The Priests’ ill-fated rap album.

In the publishing section we found some antique adoption forms for anyone looking to engage in human trafficking by signing away ‘illegitimate’ babies to American couples with price tags between 1-5k per child depending on their gender and ethnicity.

Several elderly priests scattered when I approached a basket full of second-hand altar boy tunics.

Attempting to innovate in recent years and bring in news clients, the selection of vapes filled with incense used during the liturgy of the Eucharist remain unsold.

Fill-in-your-own character references were available on a stand by the register and have not been discounted much because a priest’s endorsement in court is still somehow valuable in 2025.

Plenty of Church school books relating to sex education (completely blank inside except for the words ‘touch yourself and burn in hell’) were among the rare items which weren’t exactly value for money.

We said hello to David Quinn who was trying some stigmata scar stickers on his hands in the Padre Pio aisle. In fairness, they looked real and a bargain at €2.99. He looked chuffed when we said they really suited him.

Medical saws used in the practice of symphysiotomy were on a two-for-one offer.

In the travel section we found a dogeared book on the art of ‘parish hopping’ for 5 euros and a really cool poster of three Irish bishops doing the see no evil, see no evil and speak no evil gestures.

Upon leaving the store we found a sales receipt on the ground for The Irish Hierarchy to the amount of €400,000. The nun behind the counter explained it probably belonged to the body representing Irish Catholic Bishops who tried to save the store last year with a €400,000 cash injection, despite the Church owing the State millions for redress schemes.

“It’s what God would have wanted the money spent on,” she informed us.

Book shops have said they would be willing to accept all remaining unsold Bibles for their bargain basement fiction section.

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