“How Could They Vote For That Eejit?” Says Man From Country With Same Two Parties In Charge For 100 Years

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“IT’S beggars belief, defies logic. Could you imagine being over there, Trump supporters everywhere, basket case of a country” said local man Denis O’Coughlin, residing in a country in which, despite 230,000 children live in poverty, the long standing two-parties-in-government system has been in place for 100 years.

By no means a cheerleader for Kamala Harris, O’Coughlin still struggled to comprehend the colossal ignorance and disconnect that leads someone to choosing Donlad Trump of all people for president.

“Can’t they see he’s full of bullshit and he will only make things worse? How can the man who causes such problems be the answer to them as well? He’s the sort of fella who’d give you chlamydia and sell you an itch for a cure. It takes a special kind of eejit,” added O’Coughlin who, along with his wife, will vote Fine Gael in the next election.

Seeing the Irish parties who created the crash, the homeless crisis, the health crisis and the housing crisis as the only parties who could solve said crises, O’Coughlin’s mind swelled and ached from the effort required to calculate want quantity of faecal matter a person would have to have for brains for Trump to be seen as a viable candidate.

“They’re not turkeys voting for Christmas, they’re sheep voting to be machine gunned down by a military drone operated by a wolf. The Yanks hey, a mad bunch altogether,” concluded O’Coughlin.

We’ve been hacked by North Korea, made it into Trump’s campaign emails, threatened with legal action by Ireland’s richest man, angered Scientology and received 6,000 complaints from the God squad after a sketch of ours aired on RTÉ. Help us to keep pissing off all the right people – buy some of our MERCH HERE to help us continue to taking the piss in these trying times.

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