BREAKING: Loads Of Muslim Lads Dying So They Can Touch A Black Stone


LOADS of Muslim lads have died from heat exhaustion while attempting to make their way through the desert to touch a black stone, WWN has learned.

So far close to 1,000 pilgrims have succumbed to 50+ degree temperatures on their way to the city of Mecca to touch a stone before circling it a few times, sparking concerns that maybe the timing of this year’s mandatory once-in-a-lifetime pilgrimage may not be ideal considering the extreme heat that’s killing everyone there, but sure look.

“We don’t want to tell Muslims how to worship as they can be a little touchy around that whole thing, but maybe there’s a better time to give this a crack, you know?” pointed out many commentators who wished to remain very, very anonymous.

Nearly two million Muslims are expected to flock to Mecca for the Hajj to visit the cube shaped Kabba temple, walk around it anti-clockwise a few times before then touching the encased black stone at one of its corners, which is believed to date back to the time of Adam and Eve.

“If it’s there that long then pretty sure it will still be there when the Hajj lands in the colder months,” insisted more onlookers, who are just looking out for the welfare of pilgrims dying in their droves and not trying to interfere or anything.

It is believed this is the first ever recorded instance of devout religious followers behaving irrationally.

Meanwhile, local man and regular Croagh Patrick pilgrim Paddy Reilly has pointed out that Muslims have it easy enough that they don’t have to climb barefoot up a steep rocky hill in the freezing rain to worship their religious idols, insisting “they wouldn’t last two minutes worshipping our demanding God”.