Family Home Has More Security Cameras Than Mountjoy

HOW many security cameras are too many security cameras? There’s no answer to that question according to Waterford man Francis Guiney, who has kitted out his three-bedroom family home with more surveillance technology than the Big Brother house.

Guiney, 38, started off his obsession with a simple Ring doorbell, considered a gateway drug into a life that ends up with your house looking like an RUC outpost in South Armagh in the mid-80s.

Impressed with how he could use the doorbell to yell at kids fetching footballs out of his driveway from literally anywhere in the world (but mostly central Waterford), Guiney added cameras to his back yard, his side alley, his downstairs toilet and dozens of other locations.

“Solid Snake couldn’t sneak into my fucking house!” beamed Mr. Guiney proudly, flicking from one camera to the next on his phone, while also testing the WiFi-enabled sensor lights that adorn his home and cause it to light up like white phosphorous every time a cat walks past.

“I’ve total peace of mind. Well, except for one tiny blind spot at the back wall. There’s a chance that someone could hop the wall and stand perfectly still in one tiny area of the garden. So I think I’ll buy a few more cameras to cover that off, then we’re sorted”.

Mr. Guiney’s in-depth security recordings will come in hand to gardaí if his house ever gets burgled, as it will give a clear multi-angled view of the burglars they’re never going to bother looking for.