Reasons Why Ireland Has Europe’s Most Expensive Electricity

AN INFURIATING reality but just why are Irish households paying the highest price in Europe for their electricity?

For answers we rang our energy provider to get a direct answer. After 8 hours on hold we were greeted with an automated message which said ‘we are experiencing a high volume of not caring, if you are ringing looking for answers as to why Ireland has the highest electricity prices in Europe kindly fuck off’.

Without input from energy companies we gave it all a quick Google and produced the following reasons:

Maybe because you left the kettle plugged in overnight that one evening last winter.

The price is high due to the additional costs incurred when translating European electricity as Gaeilge.

Despite wholesale energy prices dropping, Ireland’s location on the far edge of Europe means it takes longer for the cheaper electricity to travel down cables and replace the expensive stuff.

Irish households typically order the 1979 vintage French bottle of electricity.

Are you revving your TV too much after switching it on?

Lightning harvests were at an all-time low in Ireland this year.

Extra weight can lead to a higher use of petrol in a car, maybe your house uses more electricity because you’ve too much useless shit in it?

Using electricity to keep Eamon De Valera cryogenically frozen until such a point as science allows to reanimate him isn’t cheap.

The Irish public are too meek to do anything about being price-gouged.