Jobs Tucker Carlson Could Do Next
FIRED from Fox News for either being not being too openly hateful or not enough, Tucker Carlson is no longer with the Murdoch run media outlet, marking Rupert Murdoch’s second calling off of an engagement in recent weeks.
But just what will Tucker Carlson do next, aside from completing his transformation into an amorphous marshmallow-faced cherub that repeats a fascist dog-whistle every time his chord is pulled.
Here are his options:
8chan and Stormfront forum moderator – can help radicalise young teenage boys who need help understanding who the master race is.
Haunted ventriloquist’s doll in ‘Insidious 8: Cursed Doll’ – going from acting outraged to just acting shouldn’t be much of a stretch.
M&Ms inspector – quality control on packaging is essential, a lack of concentration could see a packet with a pink-haired transgender lesbian M&Ms in tennis shoes make it onto the shelves.
Nursing home entertainment – doesn’t have to change much, just shout his nightly screeds through nursing home windows about how the ‘they’ are coming for your guns.
US President – let’s be honest this is the most likely scenario.
Form rap supergroup with Kanye West.
Working full-time on his Wikipedia entry to remove references to fact he knew Trump’s claims about 2020 Election fraud were false but continued to push them on his shows, or that he said he hated ‘Trump passionately’ and that he is a ‘demonic force’.
Rossiya 1 – a TV hosting gig with Russia’s largest state-run TV channel, although Carlson may struggle with having to tone his hole-licking of Vladimir Putin.