Doubts Remain Over Haaland As He Fails To Score Double Hat-trick


IT WAS another frustrating evening for Erling Haaland after he bagged a measly five goals in Man City’s round-of-16 Champion’s League tie against Leipzig, giving his critics yet another opportunity to make jokes at his expense.

“It’s just embarrassing at this point,” said one fan who was adamant from the day the Norwegian signed for City that he would be a flop and he has been fully vindicated following the player’s failure to score a double perfect hat-trick within a 5 minute period.

Doubts will sadly only increase for the under fire forward, who has the unfortunate record of being 22 and not yet reaching 200 career goals at club level.

“I’m just glad I can insult him based on his return of a paltry 38 goals so far this season, rather than relying on image-based insults such as ‘when you order Ivan Drago on Wish’, I don’t like resorting to that stuff,” confirmed one football fan, who labeled Haaland ‘pathetic’ due to the fact his YouTube highlight reel for the season would only last 15 minutes.

With Leipzig’s keeper Blaswich only developing a mild case of PTSD from the game, rumours continue that City are looking to replace Haaland with a genuine striker.

Elsewhere, manager Pep Guardiola has fined Haaland for his display. Visibly angry and on the verge of tears, Guardiola could be heard from inside the dressing room shouting ‘you knew Julia Roberts promised to visit me if you scored six but no, you couldn’t do this one simple thing for me, I’m so so sad’ during a 40 minute rant.